Children's books that never made it:


1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do Book
6. The Kid's Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

think geek thoughts from others

Ok, so this grass hopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grass hopper looks at him and says "You've got a drink namd Bob?"

Since the draft release of the Human Genome, we're all Open Source!

"If it doesn't kill you, you'll learn from it. If it does kill you, I'll learn from it"

So there I was. Naked. In a refrigerator. Smoking a cigarette. With a potroast on my knees. That's when it got REALLY weird.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other human invention in history... ...with the possible exception of handguns and tequila

I like squirrels. They're fidgety and they have small hands.

I love cheese.